The Sore Dry Vagina Chronicles 3 – What to Do When Your Love Garden is More Like an Arid Wilderness
So, you’ve had a brief outline in part one of what’s available, but what are the products out there, and how do you actually use them?
Firstly—if you think this doesn’t apply to you (you don’t have symptoms or it’s only a little bit), so you want to skip on—STOP!
GSM is like a marching band—once it starts, it just keeps marching on, with symptoms getting worse and worse if left untreated. I have honestly had women with bleeding cuts and fissures because they were too embarrassed to seek help. Don’t ignore it—it only gets worse as time moves on!
The First Step: Educate Yourself
Knowledge is power, and the more you know, the better you can advocate for yourself. Start by reading trustworthy information sources that outline what GSM is, why it happens, and what can be done about it.
A couple of really reliable and trustworthy information sheets are here:
Talk to Your Partner
This isn’t just a you issue—it affects your relationship too. Have an open, honest conversation about both the physical and psychological effects GSM can have. Many women feel isolated in their experience, but bringing your partner into the discussion can help them understand what’s happening and how they can support you.
If you struggle with how to start the conversation, try this:
“I’ve been reading about how common vaginal dryness and discomfort are, and I think I might be dealing with it. It’s not something I’ve felt comfortable talking about before, but I’d really like us to be able to discuss it.”
Or
“ I have been reading this really funny blog about sore vaginas, can I get you to read it and then can we talk about it together because I think that may be what is going on with me?”………(yes I have just made your vagina all about me!!:))
Seeking Medical Help
Now that you know what’s happening and have started the conversation, the next step is getting professional advice. You deserve medical support!
When booking an appointment, don’t downplay your symptoms. Be direct, explain the discomfort you’re experiencing, and don’t be afraid to ask about treatment options. If your doctor dismisses your concerns, don’t be afraid to seek a second opinion—GSM is a real medical issue, and you deserve to be taken seriously.
Treatment Options
So, what can actually help? Here are some of the most effective treatment options:
1. Vaginal Moisturisers
These are used regularly (not just before sex) to help maintain vaginal moisture and improve tissue health. Think of them like a face moisturiser but for your vagina!
There are products your GP can prescribe that you can wash your genitalia with as a soap substitute as well as using as a moisturiser.
Be aware though- oil based moisturisers can damage condoms risking pregnancy. And yes- you can still get pregnant in the perimenopause and the menopausal transition.
2. Lubricants
Used during sex, these can reduce friction and make intimacy more comfortable. Opt for water-based or silicone-based lubricants rather than glycerin-based ones, which can be irritating.
The double glide effect:
Double glide effect" in the context of moisturizers and lubricants refers to a combined sensation of both immediate, smooth glide from a water-based component and a longer-lasting, rich lubrication provided by an oil-based component, essentially offering a dual-layered glide that addresses both initial dryness and sustained lubrication needs.
Key points about the double glide effect:
- Two-in-one action: It combines the quick, light glide of a water-based lubricant with the more lasting, rich feel of an oil-based lubricant.
- Application: This effect is often achieved by using two separate products together, where one is water-based and applied first, followed by the oil-based product. There are now, however, combined products out there as well.
Benefits: This combination can provide a more comfortable and enjoyable experience, especially for situations where prolonged lubrication is needed.
And again Be aware- oil based moisturisers can damage condoms risking pregnancy. And yes- you can still get pregnant in the perimenopause and the menopausal transition.
3. Oestrogen Therapy
For many women, low-dose vaginal oestrogen can be a game-changer. It helps restore the vaginal lining and reduce symptoms of dryness and irritation. Available in creams such as estrodiol vaginal cream, pessaries such as Vagirux or Vagifem, or a ring that sits inside the vagina (eg Estring)—your doctor can advise on the best option for you.
In some circumstances they can be used in combination as a belt and braces treatment dose.
4. DHEA Suppositories for women with moderate to severe symptoms
These work similarly to vaginal oestrogen and can help with vaginal elasticity and lubrication.
5. Laser Therapy
For some women who can’t or don’t want to use hormones, vaginal laser therapy (like the MonaLisa Touch currently available privately) can stimulate collagen production and improve symptoms.
The Psychological Side of GSM
It’s not just about physical discomfort—GSM can have a profound impact on your confidence, intimacy, and emotional well-being. Feeling unattractive, frustrated, or disconnected from your partner are all valid and common experiences.
If this resonates with you, consider seeking support from a counsellor or therapist who specialises in menopause and sexual health. You are not alone in this.
Final Thoughts
Please do not fear—help for that poor vagina is near! GSM is common, but it is not something you have to suffer through in silence. Educate yourself, start the conversation, and seek the support you deserve. You deserve to feel good in your body, at every stage of life!
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